Wednesday, May 16, 2007

our maid is back and as for me, im back to being a donya. happiness.:)

you know what, i hate NBA so much. he make me hate it. nakakainis.

i getting sick of the dos and don'ts of this relationship. he asks for too much. he even asked me about something i can't give --not even in my wildest dreams. nakakainis lang because i expected too much from someone who can't give me that much. kamon, di na nga sha pogi, he better make up for it with personality. sana naman please lang. pero hindi, sometimes, even the way he tends to be immature about things becomes really annoying. i just try to understand because it's probably the distance that's getting to us. or maybe i really am just confused right now. sometimes i think im just being too unreasonable but i guess there are things im not used to doing and not doing. i try to compromise naman pero feeling ko it's no use compromising kasi im not really happy right now. oo siguro happy ako once in a while lalo na pag sinasabi niya na he misses me and that im really special eklaboo chaka ever. kanina nga may nalalaman pa shang "ano bang meron sayo at namimiss kita ng sobra." oo na benta na talaga sakin ung mga ganyan pero diba, sino bang di matutuwa kahit mukhang lupa yung boyfriend mo no. ang salbahe ko pero tangena pag pinapacheck niya ung scores ng nba playoffs sakin sa kalagitnaan ng pagtatrabaho ko sa bahay, nag-iinit talaga ulo ko e. hinayupak kase e. kala mo naman mamamatay pag di pinagbigyan.

sa totoo lang, at this moment in time, pagod na pagod nako at wala akong kakayahan makaunawa. (sa background e nagwawala nanaman ang mama ko at tita ko. kaninang umaga e sinampal ng nanay ko ung tita ko.) sa totoo lang, i do not have the patience to put up with anything right now because my aunt is pestering me with everything there is that can't be explained. people find it easy to say that we should be patient with her but you will never understand how hard it is to deal with her because you are not in our shoes. sobrang suya nalang siguro ako that even if i try to be indifferent and to not care, i really can't because i don't have the power to do so. nakakasawa lang. i so want to get out of the house. i have the money but i just don't have a place to go and unwind. kahit isang araw lang na worry free. everybody's just busy with their own thing kaya wala ako maaya. boyfriend is miles away and somehow, napakstressful din ang makasama sha because of his immature moments.


ewan. i just need to disappear.

(6:55 PM)