Monday, May 28, 2007

i love you but it seems like you don't love me enough para magtiis ng onti para sating dalawa. from the start, sinabi ko na na hindi tayo legal pero hindi ko inisip kahit minsan na hindrance yun kasi ang importante sakin, mahal kita, mahal mo ko. naiinis ako kasi konting tiis lang hanggang pasukan ang hinihingi ko parang di mo pa makaya. so what if we don't see each other until school starts, we've been apart much longer. two weeks of not seeing each other should sound like a breeze.

nalulungkot ako, tangina. pati si mat sinasali niya. it was never a secret that my mom likes mat for me.(actually my whole family likes mat for me. :| ) i like mat. he's a good friend. it sucks that my mom doesn't understand na it's not about us liking mat for me, it's about him liking me back. i've already given up this "thing" like, two years ago? we've grown to be very good friends and never kong naramdaman na nabawasan ung kabutihang ginagawa niya para sakin dahil lang hindi ko sha naging boyfriend. nalulungkot ako kasi ginagawa pa ni boyfriend na rason na sha ang gsto ng pamilya ko at hindi sha. bakit, kung halimbawang gusto ko parin si mat hanggang ngayon, it won't change anything. i can like mat forever pero kung hindi naman niya ako gusto in the same way na gusto ko sha, wala naman talagang mangyayari. hindi ko talaga maintindihan. hindi na ba nagmamatter kung sino ang gusto ko ngayon?




ayoko na tangina naguguluhan nako. kung hindi ko na talaga kayang isave ung hilaw na relationship nato, so be it. i think nasabi ko na ung gusto ko sabihin. kung di niya kayang magtiis para sakin, then he doesn't love me enough.:(

(9:28 PM)