Friday, June 22, 2007

something's wrong with me. my chest hurts. not my chest as in breast. i mean chest CHEST. i really don't know why. it's like the feeling of having heart burn except that my chest hurts on the right side. the heart is located at the left so im pretty sure it's not my heart that's conking out. sakit mehn. weird. i don't want to tell my mom because she'd probably take me to a doctor and when i do get checked by the doctor, baka malaman niyang nagssmoke ako and that for sure will be the end of me. gaaah. it's hard to live with many secrets.

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come to think of it, it seems like im really the rotten nut in the family. even if im not the only person who smokes in the family, im the only person who comes home drunk, who cuts class to go to the mall and to drink with buddies. oh, and im the only person who happens to have a relationship with someone unknown to them. (they know, it's just they have not met him.;P) hirap din ng buhay ko, pero ok lang. di ko naman ginagalit magulang ko. besides, i think these things are the most i can do. im definitely not going to get myself pregnant because i still have culinary school after fine arts. as a matter of fact, i don't intend to get married at all. i guess im just saying this now because i already know the consequence of being pregnant and all that.

pero ewan ko, ang hirap ng pag-aasawa. i don't think im ready to be in that position wherein there's no turning back. i really feel bad having to tell my boyfriend i don't intend to get married in the future. i jokingly said i only want kids. it's half true. i know it's only been three months since we got together but i really don't feel weird talking about these things with him. the way a person views the future is enough to tell what kind of life this person wants. ewan ko, if i do decide to get married in the future, gusto ko ung magiging masaya ako. i know married life is not perfect. i just want to get married to someone i won't regret marrying even if life gets rough for the both of us. basta, bahala na si batman. bata pa ako. as of now, di ko pa talaga iniisip yung ganyan. i don't have to think about it. there's still australia issues to think about. i will cross the bridge when i get there.





makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay.---kabayan



onga makulay nga ang buhay pero hindi sa sinabawang gulay.---gari

(11:54 AM)