Saturday, August 25, 2007

ang aking maghapon ay nalaan sa panonood ng Mr and Ms JCBA dahil kasali si maan. haha wala lang nakakatawa. kung nakakamatay ang pang-ookray, walangya patay na sila. wala lang e kasi nakakatawa yung mga nangangarir e. ewan ko ba. ang ganda ni maan kanina. im so proud of her because she acted naturally and she really didn't make that much of an effort but she did so well. hindi sha trying hard yun lang ang masasabi ko. naawa lang ako kasi wala shang dalang assistant or make-up artist. if i knew that she won't be bringing anybody with her, sana sinamahan na namin sha ni pam. we could've done her make-up or something. anyway, she looked really pretty kanina kaya ok narin.

my mom is acting really weird lately. i can't understand her mood at all. mejo nahiya lang ako because she acted really bitchy in front of pam. i don't know where that whatever-you-call-it is coming from pero naiinis lang ako because i have no idea why she is being such a pain. i didn't do anything wrong today. in fact, i did more than what she asked me to do. the problem with my mom, pag galit sha sa isa samin, galit na sha samin lahat. parang tanga lang. o well, at least she's better now. naisip ko lang, if she is throwing a fit just because of my hair or maybe because i am single again or for some other lousy reason, what the heck, magalit sha all she wants. im not going to bother myself about it because i have more important things to think about.

i heard this song on the radio that i really like. it was sung by a male artist but the song i heard was covered by a girl, which i like better. the funny thing is, i cannot remember the title of the song and even the lyrics. everytime i hear it, i remember the title. pag di ko na naririnig, di ko na alam. haha kulang nako sa memory enhancers.

i went to national after maan's pageant thing. i wanted to buy a new "breakup diaries" book because i wanted to read it badly. argel hasn't returned my old one yet but im not angry hehe. super like ko lang yung book na yun kasi naiyak ako dun. baka pag binasa ko yun, maiyak na talaga ako. it sucks that i haven't cried ever since we broke up. pag nagkukuwento tuloy sha sakin, ang sakit sakit parin pero wala akong magawa and the tears just won't fall down.

we've been in really good terms lately, which i think is helping me cope with the whole breakup shebang. i hope it's working well for him too. i just don't know how im supposed to feel. sometimes i just want to shake him back to his senses and just tell him to pick me. parang yuyugyugin ko sha at sasabihin ko na ako nalang ang mamiss niya at ako nalang ang mahalin niya. kamon kamote, ang pathetic naman kung gagawin ko yun so i guess i will just continue to put up this tough front i always have.

pam says i have to stop being safe and just step out of my comfort zone. sometimes i think i really have to but after everything i've been through, from the child battery up to my current experiences of betrayal, i don't think i can fully open my heart to anyone.i guess i should start trusting people. should people betray me for their own deceptive reasons, i will just leave it up to god kung anong gagawin niya sa mga nilalang na iyon. besides, im not the only person who gets betrayed. lahat naman tayo ay may experiences of betrayal and it surely teaches us a lesson on good judgment. as for me, i still suck when it comes to good judgment. haha believe me, mauuto at mauuto parin ako. mashado lang talaga akong forgiving. ahay.hehe




tatanong mo pa sakin kung miss kita, shempre sasabihin kong hinde kahit alam mo naman na oo.



Yes, I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain.

and crap, he's been asking for the url of this blog. i gave it to him the other night because i thought he was still sad and he needed to feel that he's still loved after all. e pucha nabura niya ata, buti nalang. e kanina maghapon niya kinukulit sakin ibigay ung url. hello no, wala nang impluwensya ng alak kaya di ko na ibibigay. tseh!

(8:34 PM)