Saturday, August 18, 2007

di ko alam bakit ako nagchachaga sa lecheng kwarto nato e amoy tae ng pusa dito. bakit ba ang baho ng tae ng pusa at bakit kelangan sa loob pa sha tumae at ako pa ang naglinis. tangina. it really doesn't make my night any better.

yes, i ruined my own night. i was actually having a good time at espi's place. good food, good company. that was until we started texting each other. i kind of had this conversation planned since yesterday. i wanted to get it out of my chest. i needed to tell him that i still love him and that if there was a possibility that we could get back together, i am for it. i was able to say all those things without thinking of the consequences. i really didn't care about what will happen. wala talaga akong pakialam. initially, i wanted him to tell me that he doesn't love me anymore so i can just get on with my life and move on and i actually did that. he says he couldn't tell me that because he still loves me too. (puta manood ka nga ng kim sam soon. hay.) nagwowonder din sha bakit kelangan niya sabihin yun. for me, the whole point of him saying he doesn't love me anymore is to kill the possibility and the hope of us getting back together again. if this relationship has really ended, i want to make sure that it really ends. wala nang pahabol and one more try whatsoever in the future. if it ends now, it ends forever. gusto ko ganun. ayoko nang nakamove on nako and im already doing fine chaka sha darating ulit para magparamdam at magpahiwatig na he still loves me. that's not the way it's supposed to go. i want to get on with my life.

anyway, sabi niya, since we stil love each other, we can still be friends. cut the crap. whoever says couples who have broken up can still be friends is stupid. lalong lalo na kung yung rason ng pagbbreak niyo is the ex. kagaguhan yun. dalawa lang yun e, it's either we get back together, forget about the ex and work on the relationship or let's just let get on with our lives without each other. hay.

wala lang. pakiramdam ko kasi kanina, it was the "pick me, choose me, love me..." moment. wala lang... feeling ko ako si meredith, sha si derek(mashado atang pogi si derek haha) tapos si london bridge si addison. hay.



i've never been so pathetic.

(11:39 PM)