Thursday, November 01, 2007

5 months na kami ngayon. galeng no. kung di kami nagbreak dapat, hmmm...dapat 8 months na. ewan ko kung bakit naginig complicated ang pagbibilang e kala ko naman kinacount na ung mga buwan na wala kayo. ewan, i really don't feel the need to think about it because he hasn't texted me about it, or even greeted me a "goodmorning." ang arte ko nanaman, magkakaroon na siguro ako. ayon sa aking countdown e dapat ngayon meron nako.

sa totoo lang, nakakapurga na ang may boypren. ewan ko, even the distance is not helping. we've been fighting about petty things. madalas dala lang ng mga kaartehan niya at mga bagay na alam niyang kinasasama ng loob ko tapos ginagawa pa niya.

nakakainis lang din kasi i already turned down two boys who asked me to go out with them. bwisit lang kase dati nag-dadrama ako na wala akong boys and i felt like im not likable. yun pala, nawalan lang ng oportunidad lumandi. bwahaha. hinde, kase naman, noon, feeling ko mukha akong ita kaya walang nanliligaw sakin. amputa. tapos kung kelan meron chaka kayo nag-aaya, mga hinayupak. nakakainis tuloy parang ang sarap nalang maging single.

siguro nagrarant lang ako kase it's the hormones that's doing the talking.

ewan. sa totoo lang nakakadisappoint sha. i miss talking to someone who always seems interested in what i have to say. he tells me i can't force him to be interested in some of the things im interested in dahil di daw interesting sa kanya. e puta, it's not my fault if he likes living in his own little world. sometimes you have to be more open minded, widen your horizons. lawakan naman niya ung pananaw niya sa mundo, di ung puro nba, riza santos at boy stuff ung gusto niya. we really don't talk about our interests that much. sabi ko nun, buhay nako kung ung boypren ko e good conversationalist. i like watching movies but i also like talking about them after. i like eating out and i like to talk while i eat. parang kulang na kulang kami sa ganun. minsan feeling ko tuloy he just wants to have someone to go out with.

i want to grow. i want to know more about other people and i want to learn new things. i need someone i can grow as a person with. minsan iniisip ko, is he even learning anything from me? is he becoming a better person with me? sa totoo lang, di ko kailangan ng taong kadate lang. i need someone i can learn things from. i need someone who i can be crazy with. i need someone who will just let me be me. ay ang arte ko no.

ang bottomline, di ko kailangan ng relasyon dahil gusto ko lang ng may karelasyon.

don't get me wrong. he is a nice person and he's sweet. it's just that there are things i want to have in a relationship. may ups and downs din. and im not exactly super nice as well. minsan lang sa buhay, nakakadisappoint when people fall short of your expectations.



hay. happy all souls day.






ps.
nakagawa nako ng blueberry cheesecake. shet ang taray!

(11:33 AM)