Sunday, December 04, 2005
i think this is kind of complicated but i might as well try...im really bored...i created this account last sem but never used it..might as well do kasi sayang naman... im really bored but i think i have a happy heart again..boredom doesn't seem to matter to me right now...ay PBB na ba? wal alang i hate JB..he is a living asswipe...
i've been thinking about writing stuff that i really feel..some stuff that i don't want everyone to know...heart matters darling..wala lang...might as well write it here..
yeah even as i try not to think about being lonely, i still can't...yeah im a lonely girl and i try not to feel bad about it...it just gets darn sickening if you've been liking several boys for the past 5 years and yet not one of them fell for you...it's actually depressing...well i was that depressed person before...im not so depressed anymore...well if you've been crying over every single guy you meet and fall for, it actually gets sickening...IT'S SICK...oh well, guess i've changed...although im still after this wonderful boy i've been liking for the past 1 and a half years....mag-tu-two na on march 23...yep i know the exact date because that date was the start of a wonderful beginning...hahaha...well we've been through so much but we're still not together...im still in the more-than-a-friend-but-not-quite-a-girlfriend position and im not contented with that..we already had a couple of fights ...and im exclusively dating him but he's not exclusively dating me...e yun i know im the one who's lugi here...e yun but i don't mind anymore...before i was really at it....as in i really wanted him to like me..but it doesn't matter now...i couldn't care less if he liked me back...it's pretty much okay with me that i love him because i love him because i do..and it's fine if he doesn't love me back...loving is being selfless..and by loving him without asking for anything in return is being selfless...i know it's pathetic but that's okay...im so used to liking guys who don't like me back...haha poor me...ok lang
it just makes me wonder...am i that unlovable? haha...kidding...:P