Thursday, February 01, 2007
spent the morning with pam. yon nagdate kami sa bagong jollibee bf. yes hehe. im so proud.
we talked about so many things. somehow, napaisip din ako. is something that's too good to be true meant to last? that's what really bothers me about being in a relationship. narealize ko, kaya din ako takot magkarelasyon ay dahil natatakot ako na matapos un kagad. im just afraid to get hurt. pag may taong napapalapit sakin or nageexpress ng fondness para sakin, gusto ko na kagad malaman kung may intention tlga sha sakin kasi natatakot ako na baka mahulog ako sa kanya tapos di rin pala naman niya ako sasaluhin. it already happened several times and i think im the one who really has a problem with myself. i don't know. siguro yung susunod na guy na magugustuhan ko or mageexpress ng fondness para sakin, magbabakasakali nalang ako that things might turn out well if stop becoming paranoid. maybe it's time to take risks. im just going to let things happen....who knows...
still not over the "dreaded thing". ewan ko i have enough stuff to think about. i hope my mom becomes okay soon dahil magiging busy nako. i can't watch her all the time. wanted to bake her muffins but i have to log out soon dahil marami pa akong gagawin and baking is not on my to do list today. things will get better i know. mas gusto ko nalang isipin na other people have problems worse than what we have now. and yes i know i have to ugh "understand". whatever. i swear, im never getting myself into a mess like this. god is good to me. all i have to do to repay this goodness is to become a good person...
retreat was fun. so many good things happened. i hope this retreat effect lasts. thank god for friends who understand.:)