Thursday, April 26, 2007
yesterday, boyfriend and i were fighting about something. nung tapos na kami mag-away, sabi ko, "alam mo, ginagawa mo talaga akong tao." di niya magets kung bakit sinasabi kong ginagawa niya ako tao. so i said, "you make me human by teaching me how to say sorry and by teaching me how to feel." parang ay, hahaha mushy ampucha, what a way to celebrate our first month. (kadire. i hate myself for being cheesy but i guess i just have to get used to these icky moments.) then he just said something like "this is what were both here for, to change each others bad attitudes."
naisip ko lang, if he changes who i am, then im not gari anymore. being insensitive is my armor against feeling pain. most of the time, i choose to be indifferent because that way, i wouldn't have to feel bad for anybody or i wouldn't feel terrible when something bad happens to me. i know it's just wrong when i don't feel like saying sorry because it makes me the weaker party. ma-pride ako, but because of him, im starting to feel the need to say sorry. OH MY GOD IM BECOMING HUMAN.pucha baka lahat ng kinaaasaran ko magsorry nako. noooooo... ewan.
you know, if i turn out to be a good person during the whole course of this relationship, he's the one. OK IM KIDDING. hehehe... anyway, if i do become a nicer person after this relationship, then he's worth all the hiding.
actually we're just hiding when we go out but my family knows about him. actually masaya naman ako kasi nung birthday ko hinahanap sha ng mommy ko. i didn't force him to come because we already have this understanding that he can show up pag komportable na siya. smooth sailing na sana kung wala lang mga pangyayaring di ko naman kagagawan pero pinagdudusaan ko ang consequences. sorry for being bitter pero kinukulong talaga ako sa bahay dahil don. anyway, im just glad boyfriend understands. im also glad nagpapagoodshot sha kay inay. ang kulet diba, si mama may pasalubong galing malaysia, ako wala. galeng. parang naburat talaga ako non. hehe pero sabi nga ni pam, he's probably serious because he's trying his best to be on the good side of my mom. joy.:)
ok. i will try to find something to do now. maybe make a melon shake or cut my nails.