Wednesday, August 01, 2007

ako'y magsusulat lamang ng sandali sapagkat ako'y matutulog ng maaga dahil ngayon lang ako matutulog ng maaga in about, 5 r 6 days.

my days are actually getting better. it's becoming easier to live without him. i kind of thought it was going to be hard because he's become a part of my weekly routine. (like on tuesdays, i go straight to his dorm after my thesis class.) now, i get to spend more time with my friends who have been very much supportive of me all throughout this ordeal.

i haven't seen much of him these days, which is good because if i see too much of him, i might get violent and feel the urge to hit him on the face. im still super angry at him. i still get sad sometimes even if most of the time, im just laughing. give me a month. hopefully, i will be back to my usual self. i know it's hard to get over someone. no, it's really hard to get over your first boyfriend but im sure i will get through this. he's an asshole. i guess he has always been. i just thought that things would eventually change since we're officially together na. di pala. old habits die hard. besides, if he really loved me the way i thought i should be loved, hindi na dapat niya inentertain yung idea na may feelings pa pala siya dun kay toot. (ayoko sabihin ung pangalan nung babae. wala lang.) it really wouldn't hurt as much if he didn't make promises. ang dami talagang assurances mehn. it was just a shock that he couldn't pick me after everything. anyway, im not going to talk about that anymore.

basta galit ako because he has been texting me, begging me for forgiveness and asking for friendship. im not stupid. why should i pretend that i am not affected. im still upset over what happened. parang shang gago. gago pala talaga sha.

anyway, mabulok ka sa kinalalagyan mo. think of it this way, if you really gave our relationship your all, okay sana tayo ngayon. telling me you're weak is the lousiest excuse you can ever come up with. feeling pogi ka lang talaga kaya sabi mo pa, "sige na nga playboy nako!". ULOL. sabihin mo naman kung tatawa nako.

(9:45 PM)