Friday, January 26, 2007

somehow, i wish i never found out... the burden's too much to handle. di ko alam kung naiinis ako. somehow siguro nga naiinis ako dahil wala nang future para sa kanila. am i supposed to understand this? does she even know the condition of my mom? na kung kakayanin ba niya yung news na yun? i know how normal this situation is for other people but for a family like mine, it's not normal. what will people say about us? about my parents? naiinis ako. im not supposed to feel pressure because what the heck it's not my problem. ang problema ko lang naman is that i am very afraid of the response of my parents? am i really supposed to understand? kelangan ba intindihin ng buong pamilya namin ang pangyayari. mistakes and accidents happen. as much as i would like to accept the situation, it's not that easy and it's definitely not that easy not to feel anger towards the both of them because it's like they never thought of the consequences. fine financially, that's easier to solve, im more worried about angered emotions and heart attacks. naiinis talaga ako na parang hindi nila inisip yun. putangina talaga. dun lang tlga ako naiinis. i can't see why people can't put as much effort as i do to make things work for my mom. my mom's heart is not in the best condition and it scares me so much just thinking about how she would take the situation. to be stuck forever with someone you don't actually like is bad enough for her. to find out na because of this situation, it's like not having a choice but to accept. tangina talaga. natatakot tlga ako. i hate this. i hate this. i hate them.

god help.

(10:05 PM)