Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you~


i cleaned my room today. [tried to actually hehe...] i saw a bunch of letters. some from highschool and some even from my gradeschool days. it was just funny. mababaw lang pala yung mga kinagalit ko hahaha. buti nalang wala namang hate mail hehehe...

shet narealize ko saksakan pala talaga ako ng baduy. i keep receipts, letters, pictures and even dried roses. may mga balat ng chocolate. may lighter at upos ng sigarilyo. may bracelet pa nga e. i even have a copy of the letter i gave to mat from summer `04 nung tinuturuan niya ako magdrawing and also a letter i gave to boyfriend nung first year days namin. oo puno talaga ng pait yung puso ko hahaha. nakakatawa lang na nakakadire.

well, after going through all the reminiscing and the silent laughter, i decided to write down an entry on my handwritten journal which i haven't opened in a while. narealize ko kasi, i've written about things that are not exactly life changing but i haven't written anything about boyfriend yet. ang baduy no, punyeta. hehe and so i wrote. basta sakin nalang yung sinulat ko. eto nalang yung parang pinakaclimax ng sinulat ko:

i know it's bad to compare but i just can't help it. when you come from liking someone who was everything (and is still everything) you wanted, you won't stop comparing until you find someone better. the person im with right now may not be the ideal person i pictured in my mind or at least not the person i used to like, but he will be the ideal person for me in his own special way.

o chorva ka diba. ang baduy ko hahaha im sorry. nagiging ganito ako everytime i go through my senti stuff. see, that's why i hate holidays. holidays are meant for cleaning. leche, sa totoo lang nalungkot lang ako because in my mind, i was like..."shet kaming dalawa lang meron neto!" o kaya "shet bagay talaga kami!"... i know it's bullshit. it's the downside of being in a relationship that's full of uncertainty. the what if's come out early on. hay. must.throw.senti stuff.

one more thing i remember pam telling me this about chino. she will never see chino as a friend because if she considers him a friend, parang bumaba na yung value ni chino sa kanya. he may not be her boyfriend anymore but he will always be someone who's more than a friend to her. shet. huhu... sakin naman ganito, i love boyfriend, but i will never love anyone as much as i used to love *blank because si *blank ay si *blank and nobody can ever take his place in my heart.

emotional tong araw nato. hay....cge goodnite love...

(11:22 PM)